Friday, July 31, 2009

One more reason that people drop me from their call lists

I got a phone call from a friend yesterday (actually, more of an aquaintance as you will see from the following exchange). Cindy: Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile and I'm calling to ask you if you might be interested in attending one of our Suicide Survivor's meetings next Tuesday.

Me: Huh.....well, I'm not a suicide survivor Cindy.

Cindy: Didn't your husband commit suicide?

Me: Yes he did, but the term "Suicide Survivor" suggests to me that I am the one who attempted suicide, failed miserably, and now need to attend meetings.

Cindy: .................................(awkward silence)

Me: maybe I'm being too literal?

(While I do realize that suicide is no laughing matter, the part about my husband is true so I feel that I can comment without being judged too harshly)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My First Award

My first order of business is to thank CHRISSY over at for this award. It's my first and I thank her for thinking that I deserve it.

Next on my list:

To the asshole that keeps texting in a request for Captain & Tenille's "Muskrat Love":

What the hell is wrong with you? That has got to be the worst song ever recorded by the worst duo ever. It's fact. I'm pretty sure that I know who you are. You are the same moron that kept calling in requesting Andy Gibb. The one that got a verbal lashing from me for your abhorrent musical taste. Listen up - Muskrat Love will not be happening. Ever. I know where you live.

Muskrat, muskrat, candle light, Doing the town and doing it right in the evenin', It's pretty pleasin'. Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam, Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land. And they shimmy. Sam is so skinny. And they whirl and they twirl and they tango, Singin' and jingin'-a-jango........

You get the picture. Never.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Tornadoes in the Mist

Driving to Madison Wisconsin for cousin Meghan's wedding in my red car ended up being effing dangerous. The picture below was what was north of me:

This was directly west of me (chasing me, actually):

And this is what I was driving into:

Super fun roadtrip!!! Thank god for wine ,vodka, beer and my daughter-in-law's parents who reside in Dubuque and gave me shelter from the storm.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Death at the Fair

Tonight is the big night....the night of our county fair grandstand event. The station is hosting our version of "Deal or No Deal" and I was informed upon my return to vork that I would be playing the part of Vanna White. WTF people - Vanna is on Wheel of Fortune, not Deal or No Deal. Apparently we do not have the correct equipment to take things off the board when a case is revealed, so that will be my job. Grrrrrrr!!! How did this happen? It was decided when I was gone for my Mother's illness and funeral. And now I'm being punished. I am terrified to go on vacation. Who knows what they will come up with in my absence. In the meantime, Big T (on air psycho bitch) decides to leave early and didn't really understand why she needed to be at the fairgrounds for the event. This is the same crazy bitch that showed up at the party we held in my Mom's honor after her memorial and proceeded to smoke up our garage where people are eating, come in sunglasses that can only be described as 70's acid-trip shades, plop down near my friends and family and loudly profess that she met a girl while gambling and she could have totally taken her to bed, and kept interrupting conversations with inane comments that had nothing to do with the subject at hand. Big T, I am going to be forced to have you assassinated at this point. And by the by, you are not a hippy or a lesbian, so knock it the fuck off. See you at the fair....I will be the one with the machete behind my back looking like Vanna White's homely cousin!

Monday, July 20, 2009

My mother, my friend

My mother passed away on July 14, 2009 at 3:00 am at home in the loving care of her twins. We loved you dearly Mom. Until we meet again.......

(My mom will be the one with the Bud Light in one hand and a cigarette in the other)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ebb and Flow

Our family spent the fourth at awesome Lake Okoboji - unfortunately without Mom as she was busy being transferred to Mayo after another bout of dreaded C diff infection. It is not likely at this point that she will be recovering, but I keep reminding myself that this woman lived through Pancreatic cancer 20 years ago and she is a scrappy woman. My elder son George just called and was offered a job in Ames, Iowa with a bio-agronomic company (I know - I don't know what the hell it means either, but very happy for him all the same).

I guess this would be an example of the ebb and flow of everyday life. One person in my family is starting his adult life while another is nearing the end of hers. I am smiling and crying at the same time.